A Sober Bridesmaid Reflects on Her Sister’s Bachelorette Weekend

Herding drunken bridesmaids was stressful, but Jeana knew her life could always be worse.

“Is it really my job to wash the vomit out of your hair?”

Jeana swore under her breath as her sister’s drunk bridesmaids took turns puking. She’d already herded these girls out of a bar where they were getting out of control, paid off the cab driver after her sister vomited in the cab, and made a host of apologies for the bridesmaids’ behavior throughout the night.

Jeana wondered, “Is this what I got sober for?”  Six months abstinent from heroin and crack, she’d gone from being the family member who used drugs to the family caretaker. It seemed like a pretty bad deal to her.

Leading a New Life

Hanging out in some random bar with her sister and a group of bridesmaids was a far cry from where Jeana was just six months ago. Before she went into treatment, she was homeless, living on the streets of the Northeastern city where she grew up.

As she listened the girls talk about where their friends from college were now, she reflected on what she missed out on. Jeana dropped out of college as a freshman after heroin took over her life. She was 23 now, and it felt like she was waking up from a long sleep.

She sipped on her sixth Diet Coke while the bridesmaids got progressively drunker. They were ordering shots and she couldn’t help but be annoyed.

Her sister specifically asked her to be the designated driver and to make sure everyone made it back to the house okay. While she was grateful to be the Maid of Honor, being the only one sober while everyone else got drunk wasn’t a lot of fun.

An Attitude of Gratitude

When two of the bridesmaids started talking to some sketchy looking dudes, Jeana made the executive decision to call it a night. “Come on girls, let’s head back to the house,” she said. A couple of them argued and threatened to make a fuss, but Jeana was firm. She’d certainly stood up to people who much more threatening than these two drunk girls!

“Make a gratitude list,”Jeana thought once home. It was a valuable tool she learned in her SMART Recovery meeting – a tool she used often.

“I’m grateful, tonight, to be sober,” she said silently to herself. This wasn’t her ideal way to spend a Saturday night, but it was a lot better than begging strangers for money to buy heroin. The bridesmaids would wake up sick, and she would wake up ready to meet the day.

All in all, she realized, not a bad deal.



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