I\'ve been in and out of rehabs the past two years and never decided to stick it through. By the time I ended up at Clare I\'d decided that I really wanted sobriety and that I was going to complete a program no matter what it took.
I had absolutely no support in California. I\'d come to the state as a client at a different rehab, which shut down. I was told that Clare was helping clients from that rehab so I reached out and got in, much to my relief. I was done. I came in to build my life up with absolutely no outside support, and Clare knew that.
The one and only thing Clare gave me was a roof over my head for 90 days. A lot of the staff were very helpful, yet at the end stepped back and away, leaving me once again with absolutely no support.
It took me a month of begging to get my very first one on one with a certified drug and alcohol counselor. It took me three weeks to get a one on one with a therapist in which I had informed said therapist that I have a very strong need to work on trauma. Clare Foundation website stated they provide trauma informed services - they do not. My trauma had already been \"opened\" from my rehab experience prior to coming to Clare and nobody would even go near the subject. Every time I would bring it up, the \"professionals\" would change the subject. One of the reasons I was excited to go to Clare was because I was ready to begin tackling my trauma, my primary cause of relapse, once and for all.
There is no type of physical activity. The handbook stated that we would have access to a gym and we did not for my entire stay there. We were within walking distance to the beach and we went maybe twice my whole 90 days.
It was a nightmare trying to be able to contact my SPONSOR. I had to use personal phone calls to call her, meaning I had no contact with any of my family until I phased up. I was baffled by how insanely hard I had to fight to maintain a working relationship with my sponsor because the staff didn\'t seem to understand the importance of actually working the steps with a sponsor, rather than just attending meetings.
Another reason I was looking forward to going to Clare was that the website made it seem like they would help transition you out, which they definitely did not. They send you to Chrysalis to help prepare you for the workforce and find a job and in that process I found an amazing job. However, as I mentioned before, I really had no outside support and Clare knew that. I mentioned several times that I would need help finding somewhere to go and I received absolutely none. I took it upon myself and actually ended up staying in a motel the night I left after graduating.
One last thing... I was on a GR bed and the cut off date to get your benefits back for the rest of the month is the 15th. My exit date was the 14th, but I stayed until the 16th because that\'s when I got paid. They showed no type of mercy or leniency on my letter and also failed to tell me before I chose to stay until the 16th that all my benefits would go to Clare if I stayed past the 15th. Again, they knew my situation - I made sure to be vocal about it. I had absolutely no outside support. I really could\'ve used the rest of those benefits.
Even with my awesome job, I crashed and burned within two weeks of graduating and was put into a position to give everything I worked for up and leave the state and start over, yet again. Throughout my stay at Clare I was trying to help people get in the door and now I honestly say go to Clare as a last resort. For a nonprofit organization, I sure saw a lot of politics and money being prioritized. I heard it hasn\'t always been like this but this was my experience. I graduated in December of 2016.
